If you want to ruin your first date, I’ll show you how it’s done because I’ve actually done it! Actually, this is a dual article: 1) what not to do during a first encounter and 2) how to sabotage the connection when the guy is a real toad.
Mother Him
Don’t say hello, just approach the date and fuss with his collar, “Now, isn’t that better?”
Totally gross him out – spit on your fingers and rearrange his hair. Admire your work from several angles. Let loose with a tiger sound, “Grrrrrrr!” Make no explanation.
Order his meal, inspect his hands for “germies” and tuck the napkin under his chin. When dinner arrives, grab his plate and cut-up the meat. Hum a mindless tune under your breath. Let him wonder what is wrong with you. Don’t explain.
After the meal is finished, inspect the date’s leftovers.”Naughty boy didn’t eat his veggies.” Cluck your tongue, “No dessert for you, wittle man.”
Keep mothering him to definitely ruin your first date.
Talk About Your Ex
Dating 101: a play-by-play of previous relationships is an excellent ice-breaker on a first date. Your perspective love-bug is dying to hear everything your Ex did wrong, so he doesn’t make the same mistakes. The date will immediately feel sorry for poor, mistreated little you.
He’ll think of ways to make you happy. Maybe he’ll crack a joke. Bite your tongue, cough and frown or chastise that he’s an insensitive bore; just don’t laugh. And, don’t explain.
Ranting in a loud voice about negative qualities of the Ex is a terrific technique to ruin your first date.
Dig into his Finances
Digging into the date’s finances is an effective tool to get conversation flowing in a positive direction. (Make sure you have a pen and notepad in your purse.)
Put on eyeglasses. In your most seriously sophisticated tone, advise the date that you need answers to a few questions. Fumble in your purse for the pad and pen. This prolongs suspense. Ignore his frustration and don’t explain.
Sample questions to pose: “What was your after-tax salary last year?” “Do you get bonuses where you work?” “Which stocks and bonds are in your portfolio?” “Do you own your home?” “Is your car paid for?” “How much money is in your savings account?”
Keep digging into his finances if you’re gung-ho to ruin your first date.
Flirt Outrageously
Flirt outrageously. The date will think he’s landed in a film noir.
If you’re at a social gathering, huddle in a dark corner with a gorgeous guy. Wink at all the men. Touch another guy’s shoulder. Scope out the guys and invite one to step out on the balcony. Be coquettish, be a vixen, just don’t flirt with your date.
Girlfriend, flirting outrageously is guaranteed to ruin your first date.
Go Outside Frequently
Going outside frequently is a great strategy when dining out. Cold weather adds dramatic flair, due to puttings-on and takings-off of your coat.
Get up from the table and dash outside without excusing yourself. Keep popping-up and sitting-down like a Jill-in-the-Box. If the date wants an explanation, glare at him, like he’s from another planet; get up and go outside. If the date follows you, tell him you need your privacy. Don’t explain.
Go outside frequently. This will work like a spell to ruin your first date.
Modern women in the dating arena agree: it’s a jungle out there! However, it’s most unfortunate, but true, we can be our own worst enemy. A word to the wise woman – don’t deliberately ruin your first date with a great guy, just because you can. But, when you do – don’t explain!